Hello fellow followers! While enjoying a day at the spa I had the opportunity to relax and read the excerpt “Understanding Separate Realities” from the book “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” by Richard Carlson. Reading this chapter struck a cord- since last week’s blog I featured- learning how to connect with people. So, while on the subject of connecting with people, I find real value understanding that people will have separate realities but when connecting you still have the opportunity to build a valuable relationship if you’re willing to understand and learn what makes that individual tic.
Understanding Separate Realities
It’s not a matter of merely tolerating differences but truly understanding and honoring the fact that it literally can’t be any other way. -“Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”
If you have traveled to foreign countries or seen depictions of them in movies, you are aware of vast differences among cultures. The principle of separate realities says that the differences among individuals is every bit as vast.
Richard Carlson states that understanding individuals have separate realities can virtually eliminate quarrels and helps you develop compassion. Why? Because when we expect to see things differently, we take it as a given that others will do things differently and react differently to the same stimuli, the compassion we have for ourselves and for others rises dramatically. The moment we expect otherwise, the potential for conflict exists.
Being interested, without judgment in the way other people choose to live and behave is a strategy geared toward developing your compassion, as well as a way of becoming more patient. When someone acts in a way that seems unusual to you, rather than reacting in your usual way, such as, “I can’t believe they would do that,” instead say something to yourself like I see, that must be the way she/he sees things in their world.