Have you ever disagreed with someone and were unsure of how to verbalize your thoughts without creating a full-on heated debate? Check these tips and suggestions on how to disagree agreeably.
Rules for Disagreeing:
- Use good voice tone
- Pick your battles. “You do not have to address every injustice or irritation that comes along,” says Harriet Lerner, author of The Dance of Anger.
- Understand the stakes. Even if you think that you know the other person’s issues, it can’t hurt to pose a direct question. Ask “what’s your real concern here?’ ” says Rebecca Zucker, cofounder of Next Step Partners, an executive-coaching and leadership-development firm in San Francisco.
- Don’t interrogate. Try not to go on a lawyerlike attack with a listing of yes-or-no questions. This tack is aggressive, puts the other person on the defensive and can make them feel belittled.
- Use good body language
- Listen to the other person’s opinion.
Phrases to use when disagreeing…
- Have you thought about it this way?
- Well, I was looking at it differently.
- Why don’t you look at that again?
- How about looking at it from another angle?
- That doesn’t quite sound right to me.
- I don’t agree with that idea.
- I disagree.